It’s funny. I write, I edit professionally, I even podcast. Yet, I keep reaching further to do more, to accomplish new things. When I took a break from writing in late 2016/2017, I wasn’t sure I’d write again. I found myself feeling very isolated in the world I once occupied quite happily. I look back at that time & realise just how much stress, anxiety, and fear I lived with. I’m surprised no one else saw it.
More, I also realised it was then I honestly believed I couldn’t be myself–my true reader/writer self. The person who loved to review, who read books, audiobooks, comics, movies, and more because she believed in the value of different mediums to reach people. It took being myself, without people knowing–to come home to myself. To be encouraged to write in any genre, in any medium I CHOSE- and that actually terrified me and opened up so many things all at once. The end of 2018 was amazing in that I finally found my core of self- I had started healing physically and hadn’t realised how much I had put off taking care of myself. I also found I could write- small but significant chunks.
Then 2019 arrived and my life changed completely. I learned to my benefit that I still had my talent for editing and writing. That I hadn’t lost my skills, in fact, with the time off, I’d internalized the things I’d been learning when I got sick in 2016. I also made friends who honestly support me as if I deserve it. They don’t think twice, they don’t hesitate, and they’re open and honest. I’ve never been so laid back in my life. They also kicked my ass into writing again- for me. Not for anything else. That in turn, got me thinking on what I wanted.
Then I realised- I can have what I want, as long as I’m willing to work for it. It’ll take time, it’ll take effort, but when I see who I admire doing the things I’d like to accomplish, I know I can do the same, maybe not to that degree, but I can make my writing life fulfilling.
So I guess this is my way of saying– don’t give up your hopes and dreams. Keep yourself moving and working toward your goals. You can do this.